I don't have the courage,
although I really want to,
buy a piece of cake just for myself,
a treat for being me.
I don’t have the courage,
to be okay to pick up a piece
and take it to a counter.
A staff says, 'Just this?’
‘Yep.’
‘Anything else for you?'
'Nope. Just that. Thanks.'
Yeah, yeah. I don’t want anything else.
Yeah, yeah. I don’t have anybody to share with.
I don’t have the courage.
I need to justify myself that it's okay
to buy a piece of cake for myself.
Think logically.
They'd rather sell you a piece than not sell at all.
If another customer does the same and multiply that,
It's the same thing as one person buying more than a piece.
Follow the logic then.
Why don’t I buy a piece of cake for myself?
What’s wrong with it?
Would I go buy a piece of cake for myself?
Maybe, another time...
6/19/2012
St. Etheldreda
The prism of stained glasses shines in your glory.
The colour of pink reflects your tenderness.
You were a woman before a saint.
You, as a princess, lived a fairly tale.
You tied the knot to serve your husband.
You found no Paradise in your fairly tale.
Taking a vow to serve the one above,
You built a convent with your passion.
You sought and fought for something divine.
A power of woman stood before men
kneeling to pray for salvation.
Bestowed with belief, you kept praying.
Your chapel tells a story of your conquest;
a remain of Cambridgeshire in the alien city
served as a shelter for strayed clergymen,
and strove to live through difficult times.
You were a woman before a saint.
You, as a princess, lived a fairly tale.
You found no Paradise in your fairly tale
until you found it at last, in Heaven.
The colour of pink reflects your tenderness.
You were a woman before a saint.
You, as a princess, lived a fairly tale.
You tied the knot to serve your husband.
You found no Paradise in your fairly tale.
Taking a vow to serve the one above,
You built a convent with your passion.
You sought and fought for something divine.
A power of woman stood before men
kneeling to pray for salvation.
Bestowed with belief, you kept praying.
Your chapel tells a story of your conquest;
a remain of Cambridgeshire in the alien city
served as a shelter for strayed clergymen,
and strove to live through difficult times.
You were a woman before a saint.
You, as a princess, lived a fairly tale.
You found no Paradise in your fairly tale
until you found it at last, in Heaven.
The Union Jack, My London
The Union Jack is like home to me, my everything. I LOVE the Union Jack. I would happily die wrapped in it although I am a Japanese person. People often raise eyebrows at this point. I even want a tattoo of the Union Jack on me maybe someday. When I mentioned that to some British people, they responded, ‘Really? I would never do that. It’s not like you’re one of BNP.’ Peter from England said, ‘I don’t like the flag because it reminds me of the discriminating British Empire and what it has done to those people.’ To hear these things has been a wake-up call to me who loves the Union Jack too lightheartedly as a non – British person yet I still remain so passionate about it. To understand the depth of the Union Jack and what it means or does not mean to other people, I have asked a group of people from different age and background. I also popped down to tattoo studios to interview tattoo artists regarding a tattoo of the Union Jack. I have learnt that the Union Jack can stir up so many emotions and induce many associations with history, politics and religions. The way people feel about the Union Jack is not monolithic. The Union Jack has been flying for hundreds of years. What is the Union Jack to you?
The Union Jack was first created in 1606 when King James VI of Scotland became James I uniting England, Scotland and Ireland. Wales and Ireland were under English rule at this point. It was initially a flag combining two flags of St. George’s Cross, a red cross in a white background and St. Andrew’s saltire, a white diagonal cross in a blue background. The Union Jack is now comprised of three flags of St. George’s, St. Andrew’s and St. Patrick’s, a red saltire on a white background and it represents the United Kingdom of England, Scotland and Ireland since 1801. Although the Union Jack is officially addressed as the Union Flag, its appellation of the Union Jack came into use since the 17th century. When I was interviewing Michael from Northern Ireland, he asked me to clarify whether I was talking about the Union Flag or the Union Jack which is the Union Flag flown from a ship. The confusion is understandable. In 1908, Parliament declared that ‘the Union Jack should be regarded as the national flag’.
It is interesting to note that a variation of the Union Jack existed in 1606 when King James I came to throne because of respective nationalism of Scotland and England; the one with St George’s Cross over St. Andrew’s saltire and vice versa. The dominance of one nation over the other demonstrated in a flag seems to indicate the importance of nationalism for individuals. Some interviewees have pointed out the dominance of the cross of St. George in the Union Jack, representing the prominence of England over others. An Italian woman Maria raised an interesting point that the Union Jack makes her associate it with England because in Scotland the Scottish flag is more dominant than the Union Jack.
As a shift of power can change a discourse of a country, the United Kingdom has experienced milliards of changes and still has been. Although Wales is now a country independent of England, its national flag with a red dragon does not appear in the Union Jack. When each national flag such as the Scottish flag or the Welsh flag is heisted in its dominance, it is as if to inflame the feeling of nationalism, as it were, a counterforce of the unionist approach of the United Kingdom. It exposes the limitation of the Union Jack in this current political climate.
Peter gave me another example of comparative nationalism seen in flags; when Rangers Football Club and the Celtic Football Club play against each other, Ranger’s fans fly the Union Jack and the Scottish flag while Celtic fans fly the Union Jack and the Irish flag. This is a similar way of displaying nationalism by each fan flying their own flags besides the Union Jack to show their own roots, identity and almost personalising the Union Jack by adding their individual colours. This divide between two flags is stemmed from the sectarianism in Glasgow when Catholic Irish immigrants moved to Glasgow because of the potato famine in Ireland since the late 18th century. When Rangers’ fans fly the Ulster Banner, it still reminds people of the sectarianism between the Protestant unionists or the loyalists of the British Monarchy and Catholic nationalists in Northern Ireland. Several people from Northern Ireland and Ireland have shared the same view that the Union Jack does make them think of such sectarianism and the oppression for Irish people.
When I asked about the Union Jack to Michael from Northern Ireland, he rolled up his sleeve and pointed at a scar in his arm. ‘This is what they did to me. I got shot for being where I was not supposed to be because I had a delivery to make for work. The Union Jack makes me feel sick.’ He told me that he is Irish and from Derry ‘where British call it Londonderry’. Stephen from Belfast would agree with his sentiment. He also told me that the Union Jack prompts him to think of terrorism and oppression because the flag was used by the loyalists. I have an Irish friend who got caught by a group of the loyalist Ulster Freedom Fighters and got his arm burnt with cigarettes while he was walking down a street in Northern Ireland. For warriors, soldiers or any group of people who fight for the honour of the country under the Union Jack, it symbolises their beliefs or morale, sometimes too strong for others to share their views.
I first met the Union Jack face-to-face when I was 17, when I became a friend with David from London. I did not have a British accent back then. From England he sent me a box of British goodies like Cadbury’s chocolate and pictures of famous places in London like Buckingham Palace, Tower Bridge and House of Parliament. Until then, I was more exposed to America than the UK while I was studying English. It was in a similar way how Western culture flooded into Japan via America with GHQ MacArthur after WWII. I did not know about the UK as much as I knew about America. My encounter with David was like a seed which grew to bloom inside of me as the UK, London, the Union Jack became more and more dear to me. While David was in Japan, he corrected my American accent into British accent. I would not force that to someday else, but in hindsight, I am now proud to be British.
My first visit to London was when I was 19 and it was December. I had previously travelled to Asian countries but this was my first time in the West. I remember being surprised by the multicultural London full of people from all over the world. I was also surprised by the people wearing different styles of clothes. Religious people with their cloaks and head bands. People wearing studded leather jackets and Dr. Martins whom I now likely to see in Camden Town. People wearing overcoats or cardigans or hoodies or just T-shirts. The length of skirts, shorts and trousers varied as many ways as possible. All kinds of clothes from all the seasons could be seen. London was so colourful and multi-shaped. This was also my first time when I noticed many people with tattoos on their exposed skin from their T-shirts or tank tops or on exposed feet in flip-flops even though it was December.
During my visit to London, I saw a lot of the Union Jacks all over the city. London is always filled with the Union Jack because London is like a heart of the United Kingdom, a capital city where its monarch and its government are based. The Union Jack is always flying at government buildings such as the House of Parliament and royal residences such as the Buckingham Palace. Many people have mentioned the association of the Union Jack with the Queen or the Crown. As the Mother’s Day approached this year, I saw many gifts for mothers displayed in shops. Among those displays, there were some items adorned with the Union Jack. The connection between the Mother’s Day and the Union Jack could have been because the Union Jack represents the nation led by the Queen, the mother of the nation.
As some British people identify the Union Jack as a fashion icon of the 70s sprung up from the subculture led by music bands such as the punk rock band Sex pistols and the rock band The Who. They employed the Union Jack as for their record covers from the late 60s onwards. Sex Pistol created an image for their song God Save the Queen using the Union Jack as a background and placing the Queen in the middle. This is another example of an image reinforcing the tie between the Union Jack and the Queen. Since then, British bands started to adorn themselves with the Union Jack. This may have started arguably because of the British Invasion in the 60s, introducing the British subculture to the US and beyond. The Union Jack may have been present to indicate the British nationalistic pride. The Union Jack as a fashion icon was still present in the 90s. The member of the Spice Girls Geri Halliwell wore the Union Jack dress at the 1997 BRIT Awards which made quite an impact for some who stated the association of the Union Jack with the Spice Girls. In this way, the Union Jack became more popularised as an iconic design. Since those British bands based in London gained an international acclaim, the iconic Union Jack has been circulating all over the world, increasing the distribution of the Union Jack in London.
Through politics and cultures, the Union Jack has become the epitome of London. I remember thinking that the Union Jack was the perfect image of London being vibrant and full of life and the Union Jack comprised part of London in my mind. It felt like the multicultural city of London had a place for me too, for me to be whoever I want to be. This was my first impression of London. It was inevitable not to get a souvenir with the Union Jack on. So I brought a piece of London back to Japan. Ever since then, the Union Jack seemed to remind me of such vibrant image of London, perhaps liberty and found myself drawn to it more and more.
Now I have lived in London for several years in total and I have loved every moment of my life in London. It is the city that I love and it is the place I chose to live. It is the language I chose to speak and the culture I wished to relish. London is now my second home. I believe all those sentiments are strong especially because in London I am an outsider from Japan. In a way Japan is similar to the UK in honouring traditions but it is different in multiculturalism. I find London welcoming and embracing as in the design of the Union Jack. The design of the Union Jack conjures up an image in my mind; a tree with its branches growing in many directions to the edge of a frame. Crosses of the flags in the Union Jack are like wide open arms. The feeling is as if I were under a spell of the Union Jack with its power uniting people together. People from outside of the UK have also used similar words to describe their impressions of the Union Jack; the Union Jack makes them think of openness, freedom, and the country which shows an interest in other countries. The Union Jack makes them feel united, at peace and hopeful.
As my connection with London grew stronger, the Union Jack has come to symbolise part of my identity, my life in London. My collection of the Union Jack goodies increased as much as it became part of my feature. Lately the design of the Union Jack has been popular even in Japan and goods with the Union Jack such as clothing, accessories, kitchenware, whatever you can place the Union Jack on, can be seen everywhere. It became more popular recently because of the 80s fashion fad. For me anything Union Jack catches my eye. As if I were a hungry wolf, I dash over to it and inspect it thoroughly whether I want to add it to my collection. I personally believe that the Union Jack is one of the best designs and the best designed flag of the world.
This year 2012 has been the year for the Union Jack with the Diamond Jubilee of the Queen Elizabeth II and the London Olympics following the last year’s Royal Wedding celebration. Not only the original design of the Union Jack but the variety of the design can be seen. For instance, a variation of the Union Jack in its design can be witnessed in the Team GB 2012 Olympic kit designed by Stella McCartney. The Union Jack on the kit is predominantly in a graduation of blue and red St. George’s Cross is absent. It is another way of recognising how popular the original design of the Union Jack is. As the original Union Jack is so dominant and powerful, it may have led to the appreciation of the deconstructed counterparts. The Union Jack has become a prototype of a design which can be arranged in numerous ways. Majority of the interviewees have noted that the Union Jack is attractive and appealing, whether they like it or not; in its design of simple yet dynamic placements of crosses and its colour with primary colours of red and blue. Jude from London told me that she likes the Union Jack as a design and views it more as a design of art not of a flag. Indeed there are many artworks incorporating the design of the Union Jack often without any contextual meaning. This also attests to the prominence of the Union Jack in its design. Sometimes I also appreciate the Union Jack as an artwork in its design. But for me the nature of the Union Jack changes depending on its context like a chameleon changing its colour in order to adapt to its surroundings. For me there is the Union Jack representing the UK as my second home while there is the Union Jack as a popular fashion icon.
Alvin from London shares the similar viewpoint. When he associates the Union Jack with the England flag and football, it makes him feel proud. But when the Union Jack appears in the historical context of the colonising British Empire, it makes him feel angry because he thinks of racisms and oppression during the time. He was born and raised in London but his parents are political refugees of Sierra Leon, a previous colony of the British Empire. The Union Jack has seen the history of the powerful colonising British Empire and the United Kingdom uniting other countries together. Sometimes contexts affect the perception of the Union Jack because of its associations.
For some British people, the link between the Union Jack and the exclusive far-right political parties such as British National Party and National Front still reminds strong as much as the ruling British Empire. Those parties have used the Union Jack to propagandise their extreme manifesto for British people and their extreme nationalism by discriminating others different from them. Such extreme political approach seems to jar with the current sentiment of global multiculturalism seen in cities such as London. But the image of such radical propaganda instigated with the Union Jack was so traumasing for some that it has made it difficult for them to overlook such negative character of the Union Jack and see its different aspects. This is reminiscent of those people from Northern Ireland and Ireland who wish to shy away from the Union Jack because its negative connotation is too compelling.
Considering how those British people feel towards the Union Jack, I asked tattoo artists regarding the Union Jack as a tattoo design. They confirmed that there had been customers who wished to have tattoos of the Union Jack or St. George’s Cross to represent their political views. But they added that customers who want a tattoo of the Union Jack in London are generally tourists. They get it as a token of their visit to London. Overall all tattoo artists tend to remain neutral to any tattoo designs as they are personal to each customer and selling products for their business.
A tattoo artist encouraged me to combine the design of the Union Jack with another design. For her the Union Jack was just a flag. Because the design is complicated with details, in order to maximise its look, she suggested that I add another design to it. This shows that she is inclined to prioritise the aesthetic quality of a design in a tattoo to a contextual meaning behind its appearance. I personally would not add anything else to it as I like the Union Jack as it is. If I added some image to it, it would not be my Union Jack.
Another tattoo artist said that perception of a tattoo depends on who wears it and how the person wears it in relation to its meaning and its purpose to them. This is another example to indicate the significance of context in displaying an image. Some of my friends said that perhaps the Union Jack on me who is Japanese may look different because I cannot be a NF or BNP member. It is interesting that I myself provide the context in which the Union Jack is to be interpreted by others.
There was one tattoo artist who gave me a new perspective on a tattoo of the Union Jack. His studio was located in the middle of Soho and I saw many sketches and photos of designs with the Union Jack. There was no image with the original design of the Union Jack on its own. The Union Jack was used as a background and it was adorned with a sexy lady, a bulldog, a crown, a rose and so on. When I asked the tattoo artist about the Union Jack tattoo in a political context, he warned me about its sensitivity; ‘are you worried what people think of it? If you are worried about offending anybody even when your intention is good, don’t get it. It can stir up things. You know in Buddhism, swastika means peace. You know that. I know that. But not everybody knows that. There was an English guy who believed in Buddhism and got a tattoo of swastika on his arm. But one day strangers who saw his swastika confronted him thinking he was part of the neo-Nazi. The guy said, ‘‘no, this means peace in Buddhism. I’m peaceful.’’ But the guy got beaten up. You can’t change the way people think.’
This was a particularly mind-blowing episode for me. I do feel angst towards swastikas. In Japan, swastikas are called manji and they are a symbol of harmony in Buddhism and used as a symbol of Buddhist temples. I grew up looking at the symbol on maps without knowing its association with Nazis. When I learnt the association, I was deeply offended. Although our swastikas have a longer history, now swastikas make people think of the Nazi emblem because it was used in such extreme context and the image was too powerful to be forgotten. To completely avoid such sensitive situation, the tattoo artist suggested that I should get a tattoo that is more fun like the tourists who get tattoos of icons of London such as Big Ben, a red telephone box or a crown. But I would not consider any other design for a tattoo. I would not really want a tattoo if it is not going to mean as much as the Union Jack to me.
In Japan it is a taboo to have a tattoo. If you have one, you are not allowed in public bathhouses and pools. I believe that some gyms will not allow people with tattoos. It is because tattoos are still associated with the tradition of yakuza, Japanese mafia. Although the younger generation tends to regard tattoos as part of fashion like piercing, the older generation still has a traditional image of Japan to hold on to. They started to enforce a tattoo ban at beaches since last year. Young people do find this backwards. My parents or grandparents won’t mind this as they do not have any interest in tattoos. Their generations have not been exposed to tattoos as accessories like me. But I do know that they would definitely be against me getting a tattoo because of its association with yakuza and our society not accepting tattoos. Secondly they would say something like, ‘how dare you even think of damaging your precious skin on purpose just to get a stupid mark on your body that is a precious gift from your parents?!’ I went through this once with my piercings when I was thirteen.
Back then at school in Japan, if you had pierced ears in junior high schools, you risked not getting into respectable high schools because they would be your judge of character and they would go on your school evaluation. I was regarded as a serious responsible good student, appointed as a captain of a tennis club to lead around seventy members and often as a class vice president. I had a different side of me being adventurous and wanted to be me and different from conforming people. At times it made my days stressful worrying about being reported and getting my future ruined. Similar things apply to dying your hair and making adjustments to uniforms.
In Japan this uniformity is still incorrigible and carries a lot of stereotypes as standards. I cannot completely disregard them. I am Japanese and I enjoy going to public bathhouses. If or when I get a tattoo, I would risk getting kicked out of some places. Then, why would I even consider having a tattoo when it stirs up so much controversy in Japan with denied entry to places such as bathhouses which are part of my culture? Is all of this worth going through just to own the Union Jack and make it part of me?
Since my first visit to London, I became fascinated with people wearing tattoos casually like wearing accessories. A tattoo is like an accessory to spice up your look and to give off the sense of what kind of person you are. Every tattoo means different things to each person. Some may have a tattoo because they like the look of the design. Some may have it because they mean something special to them. Tattoos are indeed personal. The owner of the tattoo becomes a context in which the tattoo is interpreted. As I saw more tattoos on people, I became more interested in tattoos and started to wish to own one for myself. But I am aware that it is a lifetime commitment. There is a laser removal but still it is a complicated process. It costs as much money or more to remove a tattoo. If you know you are going to laser it off, you’d better think it through at the beginning. In the past, I begged my boyfriend not to get me a tattoo as my birthday present however much I wanted it. He knew how much I wanted a tattoo and I also knew that he knew about my passion for it. But because of my cultural complication and a tattoo for life, I did not want to get it irrationally especially when I had no idea which design to get.
Whenever I got a chance, I asked people with tattoos what they were, what they meant and why they were tattooed on their specific parts. I had been asking myself, ‘what would it be if I were to have a tattoo?’ I was not sure what I wanted. So I was determined to wait until I came up with the perfect design to get a tattoo. One day, I saw a friend’s tattoo inside of his foot. It was a small tribal mark of some sort in one square inch. Suddenly it hit me. It was a perfect inconspicuous spot and a perfect size. At this point, the idea of getting a tattoo became more realistic. I started to contemplate on the design, the one that I would keep forever. When I looked around my room, my eyes met the Union Jack all over the room. ‘Of course!’ I thought to myself. There was nothing else. I was determined. The Union Jack I adore for its design. The Union Jack I feel so dear as part of me. I would love to get the tattoo but while I am unsure where I am going to live in the future, I must remain patient for now. If I could live in the UK for a long period of time, I would certainly own the Union Jack.
As we have seen, the Union Jack can stir up controversy as tattoos in Japan can. The perception of the Union Jack is different from one person to another. It is as personal as a tattoo on somebody. It may not mean so much to some while it can mean a great deal to the other. The Union Jack is a visually appealing design with its primary colours of red and blue creating a powerful image. The white saltire on the blue background helps to make the red saltire stand out as well as the white borders outlining the foremost red cross. As the British history took its course, the Union Jack was created uniting three flags of St. George, St. Andrew and St. Patrick to consummate the United Kingdom. It will not be the same Union Jack without any part missing. But as history unfolds, change occurs. Whether it is because of history, politics, religion or culture, it affects the way we look at the Union Jack and how we feel about it. As an outsider of the UK, my perception of the Union Jack is more different from the British people as my Union Jack is out of its original historical context. As I hold no part of it, perhaps the Union Jack was a like a framework for me to start building a body of it. My Union Jack is strongly attached to London because of my life in London filled with the vibrant Union Jack, becoming a part of multicultural London, finding my identity in the English speaking world, creating a second home. A tattoo of the Union Jack on me will symbolise my Union Jack. As I personalised the Union Jack to be mine, others apply their individual perception to create their own images. Some may find their part in the Union Jack. Others may find it elsewhere. The Union Jack may not accommodate your views. In the current political situations, the Union Jack is faced with a challenge. The Union Jack may look different in the future as the perception of people change. What is the Union Jack to you?
The Union Jack was first created in 1606 when King James VI of Scotland became James I uniting England, Scotland and Ireland. Wales and Ireland were under English rule at this point. It was initially a flag combining two flags of St. George’s Cross, a red cross in a white background and St. Andrew’s saltire, a white diagonal cross in a blue background. The Union Jack is now comprised of three flags of St. George’s, St. Andrew’s and St. Patrick’s, a red saltire on a white background and it represents the United Kingdom of England, Scotland and Ireland since 1801. Although the Union Jack is officially addressed as the Union Flag, its appellation of the Union Jack came into use since the 17th century. When I was interviewing Michael from Northern Ireland, he asked me to clarify whether I was talking about the Union Flag or the Union Jack which is the Union Flag flown from a ship. The confusion is understandable. In 1908, Parliament declared that ‘the Union Jack should be regarded as the national flag’.
It is interesting to note that a variation of the Union Jack existed in 1606 when King James I came to throne because of respective nationalism of Scotland and England; the one with St George’s Cross over St. Andrew’s saltire and vice versa. The dominance of one nation over the other demonstrated in a flag seems to indicate the importance of nationalism for individuals. Some interviewees have pointed out the dominance of the cross of St. George in the Union Jack, representing the prominence of England over others. An Italian woman Maria raised an interesting point that the Union Jack makes her associate it with England because in Scotland the Scottish flag is more dominant than the Union Jack.
As a shift of power can change a discourse of a country, the United Kingdom has experienced milliards of changes and still has been. Although Wales is now a country independent of England, its national flag with a red dragon does not appear in the Union Jack. When each national flag such as the Scottish flag or the Welsh flag is heisted in its dominance, it is as if to inflame the feeling of nationalism, as it were, a counterforce of the unionist approach of the United Kingdom. It exposes the limitation of the Union Jack in this current political climate.
Peter gave me another example of comparative nationalism seen in flags; when Rangers Football Club and the Celtic Football Club play against each other, Ranger’s fans fly the Union Jack and the Scottish flag while Celtic fans fly the Union Jack and the Irish flag. This is a similar way of displaying nationalism by each fan flying their own flags besides the Union Jack to show their own roots, identity and almost personalising the Union Jack by adding their individual colours. This divide between two flags is stemmed from the sectarianism in Glasgow when Catholic Irish immigrants moved to Glasgow because of the potato famine in Ireland since the late 18th century. When Rangers’ fans fly the Ulster Banner, it still reminds people of the sectarianism between the Protestant unionists or the loyalists of the British Monarchy and Catholic nationalists in Northern Ireland. Several people from Northern Ireland and Ireland have shared the same view that the Union Jack does make them think of such sectarianism and the oppression for Irish people.
When I asked about the Union Jack to Michael from Northern Ireland, he rolled up his sleeve and pointed at a scar in his arm. ‘This is what they did to me. I got shot for being where I was not supposed to be because I had a delivery to make for work. The Union Jack makes me feel sick.’ He told me that he is Irish and from Derry ‘where British call it Londonderry’. Stephen from Belfast would agree with his sentiment. He also told me that the Union Jack prompts him to think of terrorism and oppression because the flag was used by the loyalists. I have an Irish friend who got caught by a group of the loyalist Ulster Freedom Fighters and got his arm burnt with cigarettes while he was walking down a street in Northern Ireland. For warriors, soldiers or any group of people who fight for the honour of the country under the Union Jack, it symbolises their beliefs or morale, sometimes too strong for others to share their views.
I first met the Union Jack face-to-face when I was 17, when I became a friend with David from London. I did not have a British accent back then. From England he sent me a box of British goodies like Cadbury’s chocolate and pictures of famous places in London like Buckingham Palace, Tower Bridge and House of Parliament. Until then, I was more exposed to America than the UK while I was studying English. It was in a similar way how Western culture flooded into Japan via America with GHQ MacArthur after WWII. I did not know about the UK as much as I knew about America. My encounter with David was like a seed which grew to bloom inside of me as the UK, London, the Union Jack became more and more dear to me. While David was in Japan, he corrected my American accent into British accent. I would not force that to someday else, but in hindsight, I am now proud to be British.
My first visit to London was when I was 19 and it was December. I had previously travelled to Asian countries but this was my first time in the West. I remember being surprised by the multicultural London full of people from all over the world. I was also surprised by the people wearing different styles of clothes. Religious people with their cloaks and head bands. People wearing studded leather jackets and Dr. Martins whom I now likely to see in Camden Town. People wearing overcoats or cardigans or hoodies or just T-shirts. The length of skirts, shorts and trousers varied as many ways as possible. All kinds of clothes from all the seasons could be seen. London was so colourful and multi-shaped. This was also my first time when I noticed many people with tattoos on their exposed skin from their T-shirts or tank tops or on exposed feet in flip-flops even though it was December.
During my visit to London, I saw a lot of the Union Jacks all over the city. London is always filled with the Union Jack because London is like a heart of the United Kingdom, a capital city where its monarch and its government are based. The Union Jack is always flying at government buildings such as the House of Parliament and royal residences such as the Buckingham Palace. Many people have mentioned the association of the Union Jack with the Queen or the Crown. As the Mother’s Day approached this year, I saw many gifts for mothers displayed in shops. Among those displays, there were some items adorned with the Union Jack. The connection between the Mother’s Day and the Union Jack could have been because the Union Jack represents the nation led by the Queen, the mother of the nation.
As some British people identify the Union Jack as a fashion icon of the 70s sprung up from the subculture led by music bands such as the punk rock band Sex pistols and the rock band The Who. They employed the Union Jack as for their record covers from the late 60s onwards. Sex Pistol created an image for their song God Save the Queen using the Union Jack as a background and placing the Queen in the middle. This is another example of an image reinforcing the tie between the Union Jack and the Queen. Since then, British bands started to adorn themselves with the Union Jack. This may have started arguably because of the British Invasion in the 60s, introducing the British subculture to the US and beyond. The Union Jack may have been present to indicate the British nationalistic pride. The Union Jack as a fashion icon was still present in the 90s. The member of the Spice Girls Geri Halliwell wore the Union Jack dress at the 1997 BRIT Awards which made quite an impact for some who stated the association of the Union Jack with the Spice Girls. In this way, the Union Jack became more popularised as an iconic design. Since those British bands based in London gained an international acclaim, the iconic Union Jack has been circulating all over the world, increasing the distribution of the Union Jack in London.
Through politics and cultures, the Union Jack has become the epitome of London. I remember thinking that the Union Jack was the perfect image of London being vibrant and full of life and the Union Jack comprised part of London in my mind. It felt like the multicultural city of London had a place for me too, for me to be whoever I want to be. This was my first impression of London. It was inevitable not to get a souvenir with the Union Jack on. So I brought a piece of London back to Japan. Ever since then, the Union Jack seemed to remind me of such vibrant image of London, perhaps liberty and found myself drawn to it more and more.
Now I have lived in London for several years in total and I have loved every moment of my life in London. It is the city that I love and it is the place I chose to live. It is the language I chose to speak and the culture I wished to relish. London is now my second home. I believe all those sentiments are strong especially because in London I am an outsider from Japan. In a way Japan is similar to the UK in honouring traditions but it is different in multiculturalism. I find London welcoming and embracing as in the design of the Union Jack. The design of the Union Jack conjures up an image in my mind; a tree with its branches growing in many directions to the edge of a frame. Crosses of the flags in the Union Jack are like wide open arms. The feeling is as if I were under a spell of the Union Jack with its power uniting people together. People from outside of the UK have also used similar words to describe their impressions of the Union Jack; the Union Jack makes them think of openness, freedom, and the country which shows an interest in other countries. The Union Jack makes them feel united, at peace and hopeful.
As my connection with London grew stronger, the Union Jack has come to symbolise part of my identity, my life in London. My collection of the Union Jack goodies increased as much as it became part of my feature. Lately the design of the Union Jack has been popular even in Japan and goods with the Union Jack such as clothing, accessories, kitchenware, whatever you can place the Union Jack on, can be seen everywhere. It became more popular recently because of the 80s fashion fad. For me anything Union Jack catches my eye. As if I were a hungry wolf, I dash over to it and inspect it thoroughly whether I want to add it to my collection. I personally believe that the Union Jack is one of the best designs and the best designed flag of the world.
This year 2012 has been the year for the Union Jack with the Diamond Jubilee of the Queen Elizabeth II and the London Olympics following the last year’s Royal Wedding celebration. Not only the original design of the Union Jack but the variety of the design can be seen. For instance, a variation of the Union Jack in its design can be witnessed in the Team GB 2012 Olympic kit designed by Stella McCartney. The Union Jack on the kit is predominantly in a graduation of blue and red St. George’s Cross is absent. It is another way of recognising how popular the original design of the Union Jack is. As the original Union Jack is so dominant and powerful, it may have led to the appreciation of the deconstructed counterparts. The Union Jack has become a prototype of a design which can be arranged in numerous ways. Majority of the interviewees have noted that the Union Jack is attractive and appealing, whether they like it or not; in its design of simple yet dynamic placements of crosses and its colour with primary colours of red and blue. Jude from London told me that she likes the Union Jack as a design and views it more as a design of art not of a flag. Indeed there are many artworks incorporating the design of the Union Jack often without any contextual meaning. This also attests to the prominence of the Union Jack in its design. Sometimes I also appreciate the Union Jack as an artwork in its design. But for me the nature of the Union Jack changes depending on its context like a chameleon changing its colour in order to adapt to its surroundings. For me there is the Union Jack representing the UK as my second home while there is the Union Jack as a popular fashion icon.
Alvin from London shares the similar viewpoint. When he associates the Union Jack with the England flag and football, it makes him feel proud. But when the Union Jack appears in the historical context of the colonising British Empire, it makes him feel angry because he thinks of racisms and oppression during the time. He was born and raised in London but his parents are political refugees of Sierra Leon, a previous colony of the British Empire. The Union Jack has seen the history of the powerful colonising British Empire and the United Kingdom uniting other countries together. Sometimes contexts affect the perception of the Union Jack because of its associations.
For some British people, the link between the Union Jack and the exclusive far-right political parties such as British National Party and National Front still reminds strong as much as the ruling British Empire. Those parties have used the Union Jack to propagandise their extreme manifesto for British people and their extreme nationalism by discriminating others different from them. Such extreme political approach seems to jar with the current sentiment of global multiculturalism seen in cities such as London. But the image of such radical propaganda instigated with the Union Jack was so traumasing for some that it has made it difficult for them to overlook such negative character of the Union Jack and see its different aspects. This is reminiscent of those people from Northern Ireland and Ireland who wish to shy away from the Union Jack because its negative connotation is too compelling.
Considering how those British people feel towards the Union Jack, I asked tattoo artists regarding the Union Jack as a tattoo design. They confirmed that there had been customers who wished to have tattoos of the Union Jack or St. George’s Cross to represent their political views. But they added that customers who want a tattoo of the Union Jack in London are generally tourists. They get it as a token of their visit to London. Overall all tattoo artists tend to remain neutral to any tattoo designs as they are personal to each customer and selling products for their business.
A tattoo artist encouraged me to combine the design of the Union Jack with another design. For her the Union Jack was just a flag. Because the design is complicated with details, in order to maximise its look, she suggested that I add another design to it. This shows that she is inclined to prioritise the aesthetic quality of a design in a tattoo to a contextual meaning behind its appearance. I personally would not add anything else to it as I like the Union Jack as it is. If I added some image to it, it would not be my Union Jack.
Another tattoo artist said that perception of a tattoo depends on who wears it and how the person wears it in relation to its meaning and its purpose to them. This is another example to indicate the significance of context in displaying an image. Some of my friends said that perhaps the Union Jack on me who is Japanese may look different because I cannot be a NF or BNP member. It is interesting that I myself provide the context in which the Union Jack is to be interpreted by others.
There was one tattoo artist who gave me a new perspective on a tattoo of the Union Jack. His studio was located in the middle of Soho and I saw many sketches and photos of designs with the Union Jack. There was no image with the original design of the Union Jack on its own. The Union Jack was used as a background and it was adorned with a sexy lady, a bulldog, a crown, a rose and so on. When I asked the tattoo artist about the Union Jack tattoo in a political context, he warned me about its sensitivity; ‘are you worried what people think of it? If you are worried about offending anybody even when your intention is good, don’t get it. It can stir up things. You know in Buddhism, swastika means peace. You know that. I know that. But not everybody knows that. There was an English guy who believed in Buddhism and got a tattoo of swastika on his arm. But one day strangers who saw his swastika confronted him thinking he was part of the neo-Nazi. The guy said, ‘‘no, this means peace in Buddhism. I’m peaceful.’’ But the guy got beaten up. You can’t change the way people think.’
This was a particularly mind-blowing episode for me. I do feel angst towards swastikas. In Japan, swastikas are called manji and they are a symbol of harmony in Buddhism and used as a symbol of Buddhist temples. I grew up looking at the symbol on maps without knowing its association with Nazis. When I learnt the association, I was deeply offended. Although our swastikas have a longer history, now swastikas make people think of the Nazi emblem because it was used in such extreme context and the image was too powerful to be forgotten. To completely avoid such sensitive situation, the tattoo artist suggested that I should get a tattoo that is more fun like the tourists who get tattoos of icons of London such as Big Ben, a red telephone box or a crown. But I would not consider any other design for a tattoo. I would not really want a tattoo if it is not going to mean as much as the Union Jack to me.
In Japan it is a taboo to have a tattoo. If you have one, you are not allowed in public bathhouses and pools. I believe that some gyms will not allow people with tattoos. It is because tattoos are still associated with the tradition of yakuza, Japanese mafia. Although the younger generation tends to regard tattoos as part of fashion like piercing, the older generation still has a traditional image of Japan to hold on to. They started to enforce a tattoo ban at beaches since last year. Young people do find this backwards. My parents or grandparents won’t mind this as they do not have any interest in tattoos. Their generations have not been exposed to tattoos as accessories like me. But I do know that they would definitely be against me getting a tattoo because of its association with yakuza and our society not accepting tattoos. Secondly they would say something like, ‘how dare you even think of damaging your precious skin on purpose just to get a stupid mark on your body that is a precious gift from your parents?!’ I went through this once with my piercings when I was thirteen.
Back then at school in Japan, if you had pierced ears in junior high schools, you risked not getting into respectable high schools because they would be your judge of character and they would go on your school evaluation. I was regarded as a serious responsible good student, appointed as a captain of a tennis club to lead around seventy members and often as a class vice president. I had a different side of me being adventurous and wanted to be me and different from conforming people. At times it made my days stressful worrying about being reported and getting my future ruined. Similar things apply to dying your hair and making adjustments to uniforms.
In Japan this uniformity is still incorrigible and carries a lot of stereotypes as standards. I cannot completely disregard them. I am Japanese and I enjoy going to public bathhouses. If or when I get a tattoo, I would risk getting kicked out of some places. Then, why would I even consider having a tattoo when it stirs up so much controversy in Japan with denied entry to places such as bathhouses which are part of my culture? Is all of this worth going through just to own the Union Jack and make it part of me?
Since my first visit to London, I became fascinated with people wearing tattoos casually like wearing accessories. A tattoo is like an accessory to spice up your look and to give off the sense of what kind of person you are. Every tattoo means different things to each person. Some may have a tattoo because they like the look of the design. Some may have it because they mean something special to them. Tattoos are indeed personal. The owner of the tattoo becomes a context in which the tattoo is interpreted. As I saw more tattoos on people, I became more interested in tattoos and started to wish to own one for myself. But I am aware that it is a lifetime commitment. There is a laser removal but still it is a complicated process. It costs as much money or more to remove a tattoo. If you know you are going to laser it off, you’d better think it through at the beginning. In the past, I begged my boyfriend not to get me a tattoo as my birthday present however much I wanted it. He knew how much I wanted a tattoo and I also knew that he knew about my passion for it. But because of my cultural complication and a tattoo for life, I did not want to get it irrationally especially when I had no idea which design to get.
Whenever I got a chance, I asked people with tattoos what they were, what they meant and why they were tattooed on their specific parts. I had been asking myself, ‘what would it be if I were to have a tattoo?’ I was not sure what I wanted. So I was determined to wait until I came up with the perfect design to get a tattoo. One day, I saw a friend’s tattoo inside of his foot. It was a small tribal mark of some sort in one square inch. Suddenly it hit me. It was a perfect inconspicuous spot and a perfect size. At this point, the idea of getting a tattoo became more realistic. I started to contemplate on the design, the one that I would keep forever. When I looked around my room, my eyes met the Union Jack all over the room. ‘Of course!’ I thought to myself. There was nothing else. I was determined. The Union Jack I adore for its design. The Union Jack I feel so dear as part of me. I would love to get the tattoo but while I am unsure where I am going to live in the future, I must remain patient for now. If I could live in the UK for a long period of time, I would certainly own the Union Jack.
As we have seen, the Union Jack can stir up controversy as tattoos in Japan can. The perception of the Union Jack is different from one person to another. It is as personal as a tattoo on somebody. It may not mean so much to some while it can mean a great deal to the other. The Union Jack is a visually appealing design with its primary colours of red and blue creating a powerful image. The white saltire on the blue background helps to make the red saltire stand out as well as the white borders outlining the foremost red cross. As the British history took its course, the Union Jack was created uniting three flags of St. George, St. Andrew and St. Patrick to consummate the United Kingdom. It will not be the same Union Jack without any part missing. But as history unfolds, change occurs. Whether it is because of history, politics, religion or culture, it affects the way we look at the Union Jack and how we feel about it. As an outsider of the UK, my perception of the Union Jack is more different from the British people as my Union Jack is out of its original historical context. As I hold no part of it, perhaps the Union Jack was a like a framework for me to start building a body of it. My Union Jack is strongly attached to London because of my life in London filled with the vibrant Union Jack, becoming a part of multicultural London, finding my identity in the English speaking world, creating a second home. A tattoo of the Union Jack on me will symbolise my Union Jack. As I personalised the Union Jack to be mine, others apply their individual perception to create their own images. Some may find their part in the Union Jack. Others may find it elsewhere. The Union Jack may not accommodate your views. In the current political situations, the Union Jack is faced with a challenge. The Union Jack may look different in the future as the perception of people change. What is the Union Jack to you?
Daydreaming
I daydream in the middle of the night, thinking
life is so wonderful.
I think of you and your smile.
It makes me happy, means a world me.
I’m usually worried about a lot of things, asking
What am I doing? What’s my calling?
I waste time thinking, doing nothing.
I just bring myself, down down down.
Then I think of you and your smile.
It makes me happy, means a world to me.
And I daydream in the middle of the night, thinking
life is so wonderful.
Tomorrows seem so full of hopes. I gotta
get out and go on a journey.
Keep going, keep my chin up.
Believing me, I will never give up.
I daydream in the middle of the night, thinking
life is so wonderful.
I think of you and your smile.
It makes me happy, means a world to me.
I day dream in a middle of the night, hoping
life is so wonderful.
life is so wonderful.
I think of you and your smile.
It makes me happy, means a world me.
I’m usually worried about a lot of things, asking
What am I doing? What’s my calling?
I waste time thinking, doing nothing.
I just bring myself, down down down.
Then I think of you and your smile.
It makes me happy, means a world to me.
And I daydream in the middle of the night, thinking
life is so wonderful.
Tomorrows seem so full of hopes. I gotta
get out and go on a journey.
Keep going, keep my chin up.
Believing me, I will never give up.
I daydream in the middle of the night, thinking
life is so wonderful.
I think of you and your smile.
It makes me happy, means a world to me.
I day dream in a middle of the night, hoping
life is so wonderful.
My Family is
I am a sponge.
I am sorry Father for eating up your money.
You could have continued your violin lessons for that money.
But instead I am devouring a bowl of raspberry trifle all to myself.
Father, what's it like to have worked for 30 years without taking sick leave?
Mum, what's it like to stay in a loveless marriage for bread and your hobbies?
Older Brother, what's it like to have a claw hand and be unable to tell people of the incident?
Eldest Brother, what's it like to apologise to your sister for the way he acted for all of his life?
What’s it like?
What's it like to lose your taste buds and now stomach because of damn cancer, Grandma?
Granddad, what's it like to look after your weak wife with your bent back while you lean on a stick?
What's it like never to meet any of your grandchildren and that your name doesn't come to us easily, Grandma?
Granddad, what's it like to look down on us from heaven watching us do things wrong?
I am a sponge.
I am sorry Father for eating up your money so that I can do whatever I want, instead of you doing more of what you want.
You could have travelled more often to see us in a country of histories and cultures, your favourite.
My father, for him to say in his reply, ‘thank you for your e-mail’,
it means something, something to me as his daughter.
My father never fails to response. He is the most responsible person I know.
He reads a whole book every Sunday. He used to buy books so much that he accidentally bought two copies.
His room creaked because his room was not meant to be a huge library.
My granddad's death, it reminded him of how much stuff we leave behind.
Now his room doesn't creak any more.
I am sorry I am a sponge.
I am a spoiled sponge.
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