The last will and testament of the mother at the fish 'n' chip shop

I, the mother of my only son, residing at the fish 'n' chip shop
that I ran on my own, turning potatoes into money every day,
all the while feeding my own couch potato at home,
being of sound mind, even when my son shunned fish to live a fish story
about an illiterate writer and always came home dipped in the beer batter of his addiction,
do hereby declare this instrument,
to beat the head of my son and to be my last will and testament.
I give all the rest and residue of my estate to my son, the drunken lout,
should he survive me for sixty minutes, occupying himself painting the door
to the shop, to revoke the indignity of his debauchery.
If my son does not survive me, I give all the rest and residue of my estate to AA.